September 29, 2021


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If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

How do you discern what is really important when considering who to marry? How do you distinguish between infatuation and compatibility? What are the non-negotiables, and what are the variables? We looked at two points yesterday. Here are three more points.

3. EXPLORE THE GREY AREAS: It’s important to observe your potential spouse’s worldview about things that aren’t specifically prescribed in the Bible. For instance: marital roles.

Have a conversation about that controversial passage in Ephesians 5:23, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”

How do each of you see that verse applying on a practical level? Do you have varying opinions on who works and who stays at home? Beyond that, what are each of your visions for career, children, and life in community with others?

One way to get insight into these areas is to observe or ask questions about how your partner was raised. What were the parameters that shaped her growing up? How was her family structured?

What parenting style did his parents employ? Does he hope to emulate the same approach, or are there things about his experience that he wants to intentionally avoid with his own family someday?

4. DISCUSS SOCIETAL TOPICS: It is important to explore each other’s viewpoints and discuss if or how you can navigate your differences while still maintaining unity as a couple.

Get to know your partner’s opinions about politics, theology, worship style, and other social issues. What are the topics that each of you deeply care about? You won’t agree on everything, and it’s probably better if you don’t.

However, entering into these discussions will help you each to learn about the heart and mind of your potential future spouse, and will provide good practice in engaging with one another in a respectful yet honest way.

Approach these conversations from a place of curiosity, rather than dogmatic persuasion. Keep in mind that simple yet difficult exhortation from James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

5. ASSESS THE IMPERFECTIONS: Every marriage will consist of the union of two imperfect people. It is therefore imperative to take a sober look at the struggles of your prospective spouse and consider the question, “If this person never drops this habit, can I still love this person?”

It is important to honestly assess whether or not you can live with your partner if they stay the way that they are, or even get worse. One specific example of this wisdom issue is addiction to pornography.

If pornography is an issue for you or your partner, be encouraged that there is healing available, but also be wary of the danger of this vice if it is allowed to reign free. To be continued. God bless you

CONFESSION OF TH DAY: I will lend to nations. I will not borrow. Amen

DISCUSSION OF THE DAY: Join me daily on Facebook from 6:50am – 7am (10mins Nigerian time) for “I PROPHESY”. Join me to daily command and program your day. Click HERE to FOLLOW and LIKE the page to get notified when the meeting starts.

PRAYER OF THE DAY: Lord, guide me by your spirit in the path of your will and purpose for me in my marital life and deliver me from every marital failure tomorrow in Jesus name

To SOW a seed or send your tithe, use

Heart2Heart Daily Guide

2110590284 / UBA

Follow me on Facebook @Dr Andy Kwakpovwe, Twitter @drandykwas and Instagram @dr_andy_kwakpovwe and Dr.andykwas (Two twitter accounts)

Dr Andy Kwakpovwe

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  • I will lend to nations. I will not borrow. Amen

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