If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5
Choosing who to marry is one of the most consequential decisions you will EVER make in life. That means you need to apply intense caution with this decision and not be careless with it.
How do you discern what is really important when considering who to marry? How do you distinguish between infatuation and compatibility? What are the non-negotiables, and what are the variables?
While the idea of perfect compatibility may be a farce, there are some helpful guidelines you can employ when considering this momentous decision. Here seven ways to know if the person you’re dating or wants to marry is marriage material:
1. PRAY ABOUT IT
This is likely an obvious component but by far the most important in deciding about a potential spouse. James 1:5 demonstrates that God not only wants us to ask for His help in matters of wisdom, but He expects it.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
In addition to praying for clarity, it is important to ask the Lord for ears to hear what the Spirit of God is guiding you to do and the will to obey Him. Don’t just pray, listen and don;t just listen, obey and do what you are being told.
Not only does infatuation impede objectivity, but it can also create a great internal divide when your heart is attached to a person who your mind knows is not right for you. Why pray in the first place when you know there are certain instructions you will never obey when God is speaking to you?
On the other hand, if you are considering marriage to a person but the physical attraction is just not there, the Spirit can provide the wisdom you need in determining whether or not to pursue that marriage.
2. CONSIDER THE BIBLE’S NON-NEGOTIABLES
God gave us His Word to serve as a plumb-line for the way we order our lives. God’s word show you how life works best. The Scripture provides us with clear principles for marriage such as being between one man and one woman (Leviticus 18:22, 1 Corinthians 7:2), and consisting of two believers (2 Corinthians 6:14).
When considering that second stipulation of avoiding a union that is unequally yoked, you must investigate more than the simple claim of belief. It’s not enough to say YES to them just because they go to church. You need to probe deeper to avoid stories that touch the heart.
Who do you each see as the ultimate authority in your life? What do you prioritize in life, and why? More specifically, how do you each view the role of God’s Word and His church? The answers to these questions have enormous implications for how one thinks and lives.
If each of you have different views on Scripture and how it applies to your lives, you will find yourselves in constant conflict because you have a different standard by which you measure decisions. Join me to continue from here. We have five more truths to look at. Don’t miss tomorrow. God bless you