Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king’s house, more than all the Jews. Esther 4:13
There are two types of third parties in every marriage: Destructive and supportive third parties. Destructive third parties are unhealthy relationships. An example is anyone that loves gossip and takes sides.
Destructive 3rd parties interfere, intrude and encroach on your life and privacy. They demand too much attention from you to the detriment of your relationship with your spouse. Their interference aggravates and compounds issues.
For example, they lay so much emphasis on some minor mistake or weakness in your spouse. They make you see and think about nothing else but the mistake or weakness of your spouse.
When Esther got married to King Xerxes, going by society’s definition of a third party, Mordecai her uncle became a third party in her marriage and so had no business advising her about what to do or not do with her husband.
But for the advice of Mordecai, Esther and the entire Jewish nation would have been wiped out (Esther 4). Naaman had a slave girl in his house. She was a ‘third party’ in his home and marriage. But for the advice of this slave girl, Naaman would have languished away from a deadly disease (2 Kings 5:1-5). There are all examples of supportive third parties.
We have a tendency to over emphasize one aspect of a truth and leave out or ignore the other truth. Yes, it’s true that third parties can destroy your marriage but it is also true that not everyone who is a third party would have a destructive effect on your marriage.
Some may be the ‘Mordecai’ or ‘slave girl’ your relationship needs. You must understand that not all relationships are toxic and destructive and not all advice from third parties are harmful. There will always be third parties in our lives.
What you need is discernment to know the third parties to avoid and the ones to embrace. You also need discernment to know when to talk or be silent about an issue, who talk to, who never open up to and which advice to throw down the trash can. It’s well with your marriage. God bless you
CONFESSION OF THE DAY: The weapons may be fashioned against me but they won’t prosper. Amen
DISCUSSION OF THE DAY: Join me for a FAITH CONFERENCE this weekend on Facebook by 10pm. The date is 8th-10th of MAY. Plan to be part of it. Click HERE to be part of the Facebook group now.
PRAYER OF THE DAY: Ask God for discernment to know the destructive third parties in your marriage and the grace to cut them off in Jesus name
I remain Your constant Friend,Dr Andy KwakpovweFollow me on Twitter@drandykwas,Instagram@dr.andykwas,FB@ Dr Andy KwakpovweWhatsApp @08032063909