September 29, 2021

Selfish Partners, Dangerous Spouses

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Scripture: Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Phil 2:4 

In any marriage, we all have moments in which we act in selfish ways. But when self-centered, immature or inconsiderate behavior becomes the norm, then there’s an issue. Beside yourself, do you ever ask what your spouse really wants or you just call all the shots without any regard for their wishes? When you disagree on something, do you actually listen to what your partner has to say or do you steamroll the conversation? Are you the selfish person in this marriage? Here are signs that indicate you’re probably the selfish & dangerous spouse in this marriage and you need to change.

  1. You expect spouse to listen to you vent but you don’t offer the same in return. One of the best reasons to be in an intimate relationship is that we have someone to tell our troubles who will take our side when the world feels harsh. That feeling of being understood and accepted is what intimacy is about. If you become immediately bored, or act like your partner is a drag when he or she starts to tell you about their bad day, it’s like slamming an emotional door in their face. Even if your partner doesn’t protest, it’s still a recipe for loneliness in the marriage.
  2. You give your spouse the silent treatment instead of tackling difficult conversations in a mature way. It is self-centered to not make an attempt to communicate when you are hurt or angry at your partner. Tough conversations often come up in a romantic relationship. You put your partner through a lot of distress when you refuse to talk. Say I will talk!
  3. You insist that your perspective is the correct one — on everything. This is a definite red flag indicating a strong degree of selfishness. If you find yourself always giving weight to only your own point of view, you are setting your marriage up for a fall. What you are really saying to your partner is that you are only in this relationship to get your own needs meet, with little or no regards to them. If that’s the case, you really aren’t a partner at all and you need help. It’s time to adjust and trust God to be a better person. God bless you. Shalom!

CONFESS THIS ALOUD: I am selfless and regard the needs of my spouse as more important than my own needs in this marriage. Confess this 3 times.

DISCUSSION: Subscribe to get copy of my new e-book coming out soon titled, “The 100 ancient Rules of Marital Success” Vol 1. Become a partner and get this e-book for free. Click here. to know how to become a partner now

PRAYERS: Take some time and appreciate God for the word you just received. Now pray and say: Lord, deliver my marriage from selfishness and help us to focus on others beside ourselves in Jesus name




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Dr Andy

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