July 3, 2020

WITHHOLDING ‘SEX’ TO PUNISH YOUR SPOUSE

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Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  1 Corinthians 7:5

Before you start reading today’s devotional, remember to join me this weekend from 15th – 17th of May for ADAM and EVE conference for Singles and Married. It will hold on Facebook on my page, Dr Andy Kwakpovwe. Search to like the page or Click HERE to like the page now. Couples, now read today’s devotional below.

Sex is a way of showing love between married couples. If you don’t believe it, think back to when you and your partner first met. Married partners should always be looking for ways to demonstrate affection, but when sex is withheld as punishment, it gives the opposite message.

Using sexual deprivation as a weapon to intimidate, punish, control or hurt your spouse is dangerous and the process will become counterproductive. This attitude may sometimes be an unconscious action occasioned by a deep feeling of hurt and disappointment.

It may also be a way to purposely punish a spouse who has done something wrong or as a mind control technique. When you abuse denial of sex for whatever reason, your spouse after sometime gets accustomed to the situation, his/her body shuts down its ability to respond to sexual stimuli and affection.

What you have created in the process is a frigid cold hearted partner who will react very violently for the flimsiest reasons. Sex should be used for strengthening the bond between a couple and nothing else.

Sexual relationship is a necessary part of every marriage. There’s no other place your partner can get sex except with you, so to be withholding sex as punishment may unconsciously give the message that he or she would be better off getting sex elsewhere, and it could lead to affairs.

Two individuals in a marriage will always have different needs at different times, and part of the challenge of a happy marriage is to negotiate getting needs met. Withholding sex isn’t negotiating, it’s blackmail, and your partner is likely to feel manipulated.

Another danger of using sex deprivation as a weapon is the minds ability to use alternatives. A spouse becomes prone to temptation when they are constantly denied affection or sex, this is particularly true for affection.

An average human being, especially women thrives on affection. It is the oil that constantly lubricates the engine of a relationship, without it the engine gets cranky and may eventually become stiff and unable to function.

When you deprive your spouse sex and affection, you have taken away their ability to resist temptation and may have given them a reason to cheat. If they are sexually very active, they won’t magically change, the only thing that changes is their sex partner.

The best way to show your displeasure about anything in the marriage remains dialogue. No matter what it is or how you have been wronged, sit down, draw your spouse’s attention to it and talk like two matured adults. God bless you.

CONFESSION OF THE DAY: I cast my cares upon the Lord. I refuse to worry

DISCUSSION OF THE DAY: Join me this coming weekend from 15th – 17th of May for ADAM and EVE conference for Singles and Married.

Couples session starts by 9-pm and singles session starts by 10-pm Nigerian time. It will hold on my Facebook page, Dr Andy Kwakpovwe. Like the page now or Click HERE to like the page now

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PRAYER OF THE DAY: Ask for wisdom on your marriage. Pray for your spouse and the grace to bond with each other. Pray for the grace to understand your spouse better.

I remain Your constant Friend,

Dr Andy Kwakpovwe
Follow me on Twitter@drandykwas,
Instagram@dr.andykwas,
FB@ Dr Andy Kwakpovwe
WhatsApp  @08032063909

 

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Dr Andy

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2 Comments

  • I cast my cares upon the Lord. I refuse to worry

  • I ask for wisdom on my marriage. I pray for my spouse and the grace to bond with him. I pray for the grace to understand my spouse better in Jesus mighty name amen

    I cast my cares upon the Lord. I refuse to worry

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